Going to bed soon. Quite tired after a whole day of activities.
Went up to First World today. Had Starbucks Signature Hot Chocolate; awesome stuff especially at such a cold place (: Terence and Felicia went for Skydive Venture or something. It was kind of cool, they were flying above this very strong wind produced by some giant fan underneath I think. I did not try out because I do not think I will be able to fly at all HAHA! At least Dumbo had long ears to help him fly. I have nothing. Ok lame.
Came back to the hotel, rushed through dinner to make it on time for the night worship session. Having slight indigestion now :S ugh. Had ice cream and cheese cake beside the swimming pool at night. Sat on a metal chair and froze my butt -_-
Was highly entertained by this band called “The Pretty Fly” omg what a name. Their performance tonight consisted of items from Alicia Keys, Whitney Houston, Maroon 5, Jason Mraz, Enrique.. and ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of them would bleed to death if they ever find out this band has done covers of their songs in such……… horribly ear crippling way.. major OMG.. -_-
We nearly died listening to them and I hope I will not have to go through that again before I lose all my sense of pitch…
Second day in Genting now. Hmm. It’s not as cold as I expected it to be but it’s starting to get misty and windy (: I LIKE!
Yesterday we started journey at about 2.30pm. I think. I have never felt my lil Savvy so heavy before lol. With luggage and the black box on my back passenger seats, Felicia at the front with ME -_- heavy much? Felicia’s weight would not count anyways so it was me. ;p
I am quite proud of my Savvy though. It made it all the way haha.
It is resting time now so I am in the hotel room with the sliding door wide open and the soft breeze blowing in from the balcony. Good times. We will be going up to the theme park at 1pm; not so much for the rides but I would personally love to get some Starbucks.
Yesterday was quite tiring. Arrived at Awana Resort and unloaded all the equipments. Ugh HEAVY! Thank God for strong men lol. Went to the conference hall, found out that the drumset was not set up. Set up the drumset, scratched my hands and fingers and realised that I did not have a drum key. Sigh. Was randomly asking for a drum key and this sound guy named Vince passed me his drum key. He’s cute ;p… He played DCTalk on the house. Omg nostalgic. I love DCTalk. He also played Israel Houghton. hMm we are at the same frequency when it comes to music. Never got a chance to get to know him though. I cannot possibly just ask him to hang out, it would be too weird. But he’s still cute lol. I shall observe from afar.
Saw Claudillea when I was leaving the coffeehouse. Gosh. LOL! I know she stays in Genting but the coincidence was freaky lol. I was glad to see her though (: hugged and laughed…
I have a feeling that I am getting tired (:
I will just leave things as they are… in time everything will be back to normal… back to when nothing has begun at all… (:
I know that You will never forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You have come now, even if to write upon my heart…
to remind me who You are.
So patient.
So gracious.
So merciful and true.
So wonderful in all You do.
You fill me.
You see me.
You know my every move
and You love for me to sing to You.
I remember listening to this song during Hillsong Conference. She sang it on the second day; themed UNSHAKABLE FAITH. It spoke to me a lot. I thought it was one of the songs in their new album but I was mistaken. It was not from Hillsong and I did not know where to get this song and I did not know who she was.
I was in Salvation Bookstore today just browsing through some music and I came across Kari Jobe’s album. I picked it up and decided to purchase it. Not knowing how she sounded like, I asked the person in charge to play her album in the store. I continued browsing through other stuff. When I was about to leave the store, I went to the cash register to pay for my CDs. Suddenly, I heard the song above playing. Surprised, I asked the guy whether that was Kari Jobe and he said yes. God knew… (:
For the past few weeks, much has happened. Opportunities dropped right in my face when I felt most unworthy to take up such honour. I shall not say anything here. He knows, I know and some know. It shall stay this way.
Few days ago, another landed in my hands. Now it is up to me whether to grasp it or not. If all these doors were opened years ago, I would have jumped at them. It is different now. I am not who I used to be. I know I would not be where I am and who I am if not because of Him. He is so great to me. It is overwhelming when He keeps loving me regardless of who I am. He loves me more than I love myself. When I do not trust myself, that’s where He intervenes and challenges me to trust in Him… My God is THE AWESOME GOD…
Recalled a few glimpses of my past recently. How I went through things that changed me, that hurt me, that made me the way I am now… (: I remember telling a very close friend and sister about how I would feel hopeless and helpless about certain things in the past that I could not change. I remember saying, “If only I was given a chance… If only this… If only that…” It was about my education. I felt that the level of my education would affect the progress of my career and that it is already too late to do anything about it now, given the circumstances I would have to face.
It was prayer meeting on Wednesday and I was on duty that night. I worship led. As I was on stage, in the midst of one song that I was singing, I felt a voice telling me to listen to myself. I was singing the words:
Down at Your feet Oh Lord
Is the most high place
In Your presence Lord
We seek Your face, we seek Your face…
There is no higher calling
No greater honour
Than to bow and kneel before Your throne
I’m amazed at Your glory, embraced by Your mercy
Oh Lord, I live to worship You
My eyes stung as I focused on leading worship and not breaking down. I shoved my emotions aside.
During my weak moments, where questions weighed me down, He gently reminded me that there is no higher calling and no greater honour than to live to worship Him…
I am blessed beyond my expectations and yet I still questioned Him… I am but a foolish child… and yet He loves me the same…
You never cease to amaze me and bring me to my knees.
i’ve come to realise that when i put off thinking about certain things i don’t want to think of, they’ll only come back and hit me in the face when i have to finally deal with it… lol.. one of the nights where i dwell in solitude… as warm wetness spreads on my pillow… hate it..
I am actually feeling really tired. Yawning as I type. Hmm.
I went to school today, had class from 9 to 10am. Since I had Xpression practice from 3.30 to 5pm, I had to stay in school and ROT from 10 to 3.30. omg. CPAC was like a dead zone. Complete silence.
Note to self: Wash car cushion tomorrow! -_- My baby smells like lasagne now…
I think I have finally come to terms with my own emotions. It feels good to just spend time with people who matter… regardless of whatever may happen later… hmm..
Am currently missing people. It’s only 12.21am. Wonder why my emo mode has prematurely started.
You in Cameron, I miss your sarcasm.. You who wore my tag, *pinch!! hugss!! muah!!*
Random. What’s got into me?
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Hmm… I really have to get over my paranoia over certain things. I have to stop thinking too much. I have to remember that I have no rights to demand to know anything. So it is really up to them. I should care less and take one day at a time.
Another random thought. Sigh. Brain juice drying up soon.
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I should be sleeping… I could feel the heaviness of my head… ugh…
I feel loved… Yes.. by you(the playcount is 144 now..) and you(i love u more than all the cheese in the world)… of cos by a lot more others.. i love them dearly……. but most importantly, I am loved by You…
a rare occasion where water is getting as thick as blood.. make sense? ♥
The day I have always dreaded, has arrived before I was ready for it. Haha. Sometimes life really takes you by surprise, when you least expect it. It leaves you helpless and paralysed.
When I first started teaching, I told myself I will give my best in my students’ lives. I remember the first time I looked into the faces of my first batch of students; hair neatly combed and tied up, bright eyed with a glow in their faces, new bags and stationery, looking so cute and adorable in their little clean uniforms, attempting to stand tall even though they were barely half my height. They were the ones ready to take on the world, always putting their hands up to answer questions and beaming with pride whenever they got them right. Their innocence and simplicity were priceless.
It is every teacher’s dream to see her students go far in life, to be at their best in everything they do… but it is also every teacher’s nightmare if any of her students strays away and their lives turn out to go somewhere we dread…
This is one of the painful moments of being a teacher. When you watch a precious student turn away from her bright future and fall into a mistake that will cost her dearly. I cannot even start to describe how I feel. It hurts so much that only God knows what’s going on in my heart.
I never thought that dreaded day would arrive so soon… and that it would hurt this bad… is this the price to pay for loving my students so much? I don’t know if I could fully recover from this wound.. a scar is definitely going to stay……. will I ever be immune to this in the future?… should I care less to protect myself? I don’t think I can survive this kind of disappointment too many times… my heart wouldnt be able to handle it… so wouldnt my eyes…
I need to be strong… I need You……… when everything doesnt seem to make sense… only You can intervene…
Lord, give me a heart like Yours, even when my heart breaks for what breaks Yours…
